One of the main challenges of meetings, particularly with seeing someone regularly, is managing emotions (see my post Managing emotions) and ensuring one keeps an eye on what is real and what is only perceived.
The question I often ponder is how soon do you really know someone properly?
Meetings may be frequent and you may share intense times, but it is important to always retain one’s focus as it is not “real” life.
If you think about it, irrespective of how intense the interactions are and how much you may confide in one and another, most meetings are only for a few hours. Therefore, it stands to reason, in reality, you do not know the other person that well.
It is easy to think you do know someone and I know many think they have fallen for someone, but what is this infatuation based upon? The intensity of the times shared? How well you think you know the person? Or just a desire to spend more time with them?
There is a big difference between someone we love being with for just a few hours occasionally and someone we cannot be without who we adore and who makes us complete.
Some may have deluded themselves to think they adore someone, but honestly, how much do you really know about them? Is what you know even the real them? Bear in mind discretion cloaks us all in a veil of secrecy to some degree or other and some people do not even reveal real details about themselves.
In truth, there is a heady cocktail of hormones which can easily fool us into thinking we are hooked, whereas the reality is we are not using our heads, just being swept away in a tsunami of emotions and a maelstrom of confusion.
Some Companions are much more open than others and as a result one knows them much better, but this is still within the boundaries of a relationship built upon discretion.
For example, several ladies I have known who are married, irrespective of whether they are open about this with their clients or not, have had clients “fall” for them.
Of course their “reality” means there is absolutely no chance any client’s affections, however well-intentioned, will be appreciated. If a client knows about the lady’s relationship status or not is irrelevant; it just goes to show how limited one’s knowledge really is, so any “infatuation” is neither rational nor appropriate.
It does cut both ways too. I am always very careful in my interactions to make it abundantly clear I am not looking for anything other than companionship, yet I have had two ladies make strong and persistent advances on me.
Maybe these ladies misunderstood my approach of always spoiling a lady and my aim to treat her well, but this is not what one expects a professional Companion to do.
Sure, I will not lie, it is flattering to have someone who shows an interest, but it does complicate matters if it is not what both parties seek.
The other factor to consider is this: if one party does become infatuated and it is unrequited, it will usually end the association, simply because it would be unhealthy to continue in these circumstances, least of all as it breaches the degree of trust in each other not to overstep the other person’s boundaries.
In short, if anyone, be they a client or a Companion feels they are becoming infatuated, ask yourself if it is real or just a confused state of emotions? Also, do you want to jeopardise the longevity of the relationship by failing to control one’s emotions properly and with maturity.
Although personal relationships do happen between Companions and clients, they are by far exceptions and not the rule. The rest are usually one-sided infatuations and most definitely not to be encouraged.